Fall and Rise of the House of Salim - VIIII

A covel nomedy, a camel dromedary, or some such.

9. The Gift (that keeps on regrifting)

So, what happened to Salim? The same thing the everyone who was important once upon a time, once God and Dog has had his (or her or both) say: Salim goes on to the talk show circuit to say it all again, but for lots more money. The main difference is whether your audience leans left or right, and how hard they lean. Since Salim's audience leaned so far as to shave their ear off, that meant that he only had to say half as much - the audience could recite the rest. This got people talking about him again, that and his invention that cried listening to Schubert while cracking babies’ heads. No pain, no gain, again.

Then he began to announce a crypto-currency called “Mesa” and all people had to do was turn over the secrets to a website. The private investors mined over it and made a fortune.

Of course, he pumped his book - but also pushed Dnar Nya’s books (actually it was the same book, with the word in a different order, but that is true of many best-selling authors) where he said he got all of his mis-ideas from. (Dnar Nya was most famous for writing a book about living for a long time and then dying from cigarette smoke.) That and Aristotle, which he could not read. He did not cite the Koran, because that would be unpopular at Davos. And he lived richly until he died in bed with three 19-year-olds doing the hanky-panky. Sermons we preached about not doing what he did, but as he said because that is the essence of his teachings. That and “Please send money so you can be rich too.”

This is the Ponzi Principal that we learn in school. It is useful to get other people to do things that can ever be done. But only so long as they do not know that they can’t be done. Then they move up the chain and get other people to try getting things done. The write thing to do is the wrong thing to do, for someone else. Just change it to up-down rather than the left-right.

He preached that you should let the people spend their money as they wanted because they knew what addictions they had far better. Thus, by wasting their money, all would be less rich, and that would make society rich than before. He would then pull a rabbit out of his hat. The audience applauded with one hand. Because the one thing that he understood is that while the rich of America were like the people of Europe he found that the poor people of America were like the people of his homeland. They liked to fuck and fucking is a sacred act.

Thus, my readers, I give this gift to you, and the lesson you should learn from Salim. The right thing to do is the wrong thing to do, the wrong thing to do is the right thing to do. Learn that selfishness is the most selfless thing and that the worse you are to others, the better it will be for everyone. (It is the way, in a Mandalorian and Florien voice.)

It is said it is best in the remains of Salim's Koran after the revisions and deletions. He can simply glance upon and gain the whole of the knowledge of East and West, Christianity and Islam, and every other religion as they were truly practiced. Do not as they say, but as they did:

“The right thing to do is the wrong thing to do,

no good deed goes unpunished.

The wrong thing to do is the right thing to do,

This all the sages have admonished.

Whether your god is dollar, franc, or yuan,

Bow down before the invisible hand.

Live only for today, and in this life,

For peace and love and charity,

sow war, and discontent and strife.

If someone gives you their back,

give them a knife.

If you know the truth it will set you free,

So long as for eradication, you charge a hefty fee.

There is no God but sod, and Lombardi is his profit,

Do not worry, do not frown,

to get ahead always suck up,

and then excrement until you drown.”

By the end, Salim could read these words in less than a minute, and everyone thought him a truly holy man indeed. He read Marx backward too because it makes more sense that way. He was not talked about, he lived in the desert, and was quite rich even after he was dead. His children spent the money and borrowed more until the only thing left to do was run for President of the Disunited Estates of Amurica. When, eventually, it was found out they were broke people gave them more money, and their popularity increases because being rich without being rich is the dream of many even most. Work, guns, and blowing civilian structures and you have a displatform. Who wants to live forever?

Remember, the winner of the Presidential race is often the one who has the second-most votes.

All legislation is passed (in more than one way) by two Houses of Congress with one being the most votes by area and another one with the most votes by wealth. With most of the votes by number, something right might be done. And that is the wrong thing to do.

(In due course, one of Salim’s great-grandchildren would prove that if one looks at the golden ratio as the root of everything, then the inverse of everything is also the integral of everything. This means that everything will work out well if the golden ratio times the golden ratio’s root of 1 over the golden ratio time the quantity of the production raised to the power of 1 over the golden ratio. In layman’s terms: if everyone eats like a mouse everyone will be rich as a mouse. Then the grandchild went off looking for a way to turn lead into gold. If it showered gold everyone would be rich, and this would truly be wrong.)

God is good. God is great. And God is laughing that he could create such a dumb creature. It is almost as if God was so stupid, he could not create the universe - but that is a different story - one that has been told before in two or three thousand languages, or so says the rabbit. 42.

Fin.